25th
Tethered Exuberance Part II
I used to play this game with myself as a little girl: I would blindfold myself, have my hands tied together behind my back, take random vows of silence, or even bind my ankles and see how long I could stay that way while continuing to function as if everything was normal. I would even record my time in my journal just so I could try to beat it the next time. I was essentially competing against myself as well as my opposition to containment and restriction, and while there would be moments of ridiculous frustration (for no reason at all, really), that feeling of accomplishment I would get when I ‘beat’ myself had no equal (obviously this was before my first orgasm).
Last night, while hanging with K & T, I caught myself and was caught interupting, fidgiting, and hesitating-all such amateurish errors on my part, and I can only logically conclude that I need to brush up on my containment & restriction skills-I believe some might call it discipline. Since leaving them, I have already pushed myself to the brink of orgasm and pulled back again over a dozen times, and I’m planning on continuing this streak until these notions of restraint & control are fully internalized and no longer something I have to muster in the moment-I’m thinking I’ll be well above 300 almost-orgasms by then.
The goal: in my mind’s eye, nothing seems more beautiful than bound vivacity;the incessant sparkle of my eyes being smothered by a blindfold but twinkling just as brightly behind it, the ecstatic moan stifled by the gag, and the nubile fuck-puppet, seemingly calm and still as every cell writhes in anticipation-in essence I wish to become the human, useful equivalent of caged joie de vivre.
